Bucky the time-binding beaver.

Bucky the time-binding beaver. [This chapter from Levinson s Practical Fairy Tales for EverydayLiving (iUniverse, 2007) demonstrates that human progress occurs becausewe can pass information across generations.] Once upon a time, in the far-off hamlet of Beaverton, Oregon, alovely little community situated midway between majestic Mount Hood andthe spectacular Oregon coast, there lived a beaver named Bucky who wasin the construction business. Bucky's specialty was erecting dams,specifically beaver dams. These barriers help to create the deep waterthat is needed for winter food storage. Beavers have been putting updams the same way for thousands of years and they are pretty good at it. One fine spring day, a Harvard zoology professor by the name of Dr.Donald Griffin came to Beaverton. He wanted to capture a beaver for anexperiment that involved attaching a human cerebrum cerebrum:see brain. cerebrumLargest part of the brain. The two cerebral hemispheres consist of an inner core of myelinated nerve fibres, the white matter, and a heavily convoluted outer cortex of gray matter (see cerebral cortex). to a beaver brain.He was curious what would happen. (Griffin thought beavers were prettyclever critters. He was constantly telling his students, "When wethink of the kinds of animal behavior that suggest conscious thinking,the beaver comes naturally to mind.") Bucky was sitting on a log, happily munching a water lily tuber tuber,enlarged tip of a rhizome (underground stem) that stores food. Although much modified in structure, the tuber contains all the usual stem parts—bark, wood, pith, nodes, and internodes. andflapping his tail, when Griffin and a group of fellow zoologicalresearchers surrounded him. They anesthetized a��nes��the��tizealso a��naes��the��tize ?tr.v. a��nes��the��tized, a��nes��the��tiz��ing, a��nes��the��tiz��esTo induce anesthesia in.a��nes the hapless mammal, puthim in a bag, and took him to a laboratory at Oregon StateUniversity--the home of the Beavers. On a table there, Griffindelicately attached a human cerebrum onto Bucky's brain. When the operation was over, and the anesthetic had worn off,Griffin asked Bucky how he felt. Bucky responded, "I've got abit of a headache, but other than that I feel fine. How did the Beaversdo today? Did they beat UCLA UCLA University of California at Los AngelesUCLA University Center for Learning Assistance (Illinois State University)UCLA University of Carrollton, TX and Lower Addison, TX ?" Bucky quickly became a highly visible TV talk-show guest, appearingon ABC ABCin full American Broadcasting Co.Major U.S. television network. It began when the expanding national radio network NBC split into the separate Red and Blue networks in 1928. , NBC NBCin full National Broadcasting Co.Major U.S. commercial broadcasting company. It was formed in 1926 by RCA Corp., General Electric Co. (GE), and Westinghouse and was the first U.S. company to operate a broadcast network. , CBS (Cell Broadcast Service) See cell broadcast. , FOX, CNN CNNor Cable News NetworkSubsidiary company of Turner Broadcasting Systems. It was created by Ted Turner in 1980 to present 24-hour live news broadcasts, using satellites to transmit reports from news bureaus around the world. , MSNBC MSNBC Microsoft/National Broadcasting Company , and CSPAN CSPAN Cable Satellite Public Affairs Network (that station featured histestimony to a Congressional subcommittee on animal rights). In flyingaround the country to do TV interviews, Bucky was amazed by thediversity of human architecture that he saw. He discussed hisastonishment on CNN with Larry King. The following is from a transcriptof that show. Larry: What did you do for a living before your brain operation,Bucky? Bucky: I was in the construction business, Larry. Mostlydam-building. Larry: How was that working out for you? Bucky: Not bad. I wasn't the best dam builder in the world butI built some pretty good dams. I took a CNN news crew out to one lastweek. Larry: What do you think the major difference is between beaver andhuman architecture? Bucky: I've been pondering that very question, Larry. Ibelieve the biggest difference is that your species improves itsedifices and structures with every generation, while beavers just keepbuilding the same damn dams. Larry: Alfred Korzybski, the originator of general semantics, madethe same observation. This is how he figured it. He said humans are a"time-binding" class of life that uses language and othersymbols to transmit information across time. This enables eachgeneration to start where the last one left off. He labeled animals a"space-binding" class of life that transforms energy intomovement through space. Space-binders can't transmit informationacross time because they lack symbolic means of communication. Bucky: Well, I wish my space-binding beaver friends would evolve abit so they could imitate their time-binding homo-sapien cousins. Larry: Who knows? Maybe in a few thousand millennia they will. Inthe meantime Adv. 1. in the meantime - during the intervening time; "meanwhile I will not think about the problem"; "meantime he was attentive to his other interests"; "in the meantime the police were notified"meantime, meanwhile , because humans possess a quarter-inch of cerebral cortex,we remain on the top rung of the evolutionary ladder. Bucky: Nicely put, Larry. Did you come up with that idea on yourown? Larry: No, I didn't. Korzybski did. But because I'm atime-binder I was able to read and comprehend what he said. Bucky: Good for you, Larry, and good for your species! Time-bindinghas enabled your phylum phylum,in taxonomy: see classification. to make so many advances. You've producedthe Golden Gate Bridge Golden Gate Bridge,across the Golden Gate from San Francisco to Marin Co., W Calif.; built 1933–37. Its overall length is 9,266 ft (2,824 m); its main span across the strait, 4,200 ft (1,280 m), is one of the longest bridges in the world. Joseph B. , personal computers, and rocket ships to themoon. What have beavers done? We're still building your basicbeaver dam and beaver lodge. Larry: Buck up, Bucky. You're one of us now. Your ability touse human language has made you a fellow time-binder. I think you oughtto consider giving up your beaver identity. Bucky: I'm not so sure I want to do that. While I see theadvantages of time-binding in furthering human technology, I don'tsee similar gains being made in the area of human relations. Peoplefight a lot with each other, and with so many atomic weapons aroundthere's a good chance your species might wipe itself out. Larry: That's a good point. Korzybski also noticed thedisparity between the advances humans have made in technology and thelack of progress they have shown in getting along with each other. Tolessen that difference he came up with general semantics, a system thatinvolves the use of the scientific method to solve problems of everydayliving. It's a pity more people are not familiar with his work. Bucky: Maybe I can help to popularize pop��u��lar��ize?tr.v. pop��u��lar��ized, pop��u��lar��iz��ing, pop��u��lar��iz��es1. To make popular: A famous dancer popularized the new hairstyle.2. general semantics. I thinkI'll mention GS when I'm on Letterman tonight. I'll alsoput in a plug for GS when I appear on the Leno show next week. AndI'll drop a reference to general semantics on American Idol.I'm singing a number there from my new CD album, Leave It toBeaver Leave It To Beavertranquil life in suburbia (1957-1963). [TV: Terrace II, 18]See : Domesticity . Larry: My goodness, you certainly are an eager beaver to getgeneral semantics out to the public. Bucky: You're right, Larry, I am. I don't want the planetdestroyed because of human stupidity. I want human beings to cooperateand work on advancing civilization. Larry: That's a noble sentiment, Bucky. Is there anything elseyou want? Bucky: I'd like to put up condominiums in New York and Miami.I've had it with building beaver dams. There's just no futurein that line of work.