Cider house rolls.

Cider house rolls. Louis Phillips has been writing an ongoing humor series called"The Applesauce Chronicles." Here is his latest batch ofcrushed apples: WHY CAN'T THEY MAKE UP THEIR MINDS? The Possessed by Dostoevsky The Unpossessed by Tess Slesinger Did you like talking to the hold-up victim? No. He was too stuckup, Do you know Captain William Lynch? Well., I used to hang aroundwith him. Do you know Elias Howe? That guy keeps me in stitches. Did you ever date Eddie Arcaro? Yes. And he has a one-track mind. Did you like interviewing Humpty Dumpty? Naah. He isn't all heis cracked-up to be. Why didn't you go out to eat with Leonard Bernstein? Becausehe doesn't know how to conduct himself in public. When race driver A.J. Foyt was at he !indy 500, he hurt his leftfoot, so he took off his shoe and placed it inside his racecar, His soncame along, picked up the shoe, and liked it so much that he decided towear it for good luck. When people asked what happened to the shoe, thereply, of course, was: THE SHOE IS ON THE OTHER FOYT. DIRECTOR MAX REINHARDT MEETS TOM MIX AND INQUIRES IF THE COWBOYSTAR IS MEXICAN Max, Mix. Mix, Max. Mex, Mix? No. If TV actress GALE STORM had married C.P. Snow, and then haddivorced him to marry the Prince of Monaco, would she be known as: GALE STORM SNOW RAINIER THE ANSWER IS: JOSH BILLINGS THE QUESTION IS: What do you callinvoices from gag writers? LOVE-MAKING WITH NOAH WEBSTER After has a glow, But before has a hand. What' the difference between an illegal ship passenger and theauthor of UNCLE TOM'S CABIN going on vacation? One is a stowaway;the other is Stowe away. FREE-RANGE VOCABULARY Do you wish to talk the way the cowboys of Dodge City once talked?Then try to match the phrases below with their proper (or improper)meanings. If you get 5 right, consider yourself a real ranch hand.--1. sugar eater A. the cook--2, grub slinger B. sleeping roll--3. flea bag C. butter made of fat mixed with molasses--4. woolies D. a muddy puddle--5, younker E. sheep--6. yack F. a stupid person--7. salt horse G. a pampered horse--8, loblolly H. corned beef--9. sop I. A child--10. Charlie Taylor J. gravy 1-G, 2-A, 3-B, 4-E, 5-I, 6-F, 7-H, 8-D, 9-J, 10-C DAVID MORICE Iowa City, Iowa