Cringe binge: more media bloopers and ephemera.

Cringe binge: more media bloopers and ephemera. It's time once again for another roundup of typographicalerrors, linguistic lapses, and other amusing oddities in the news.First, some recently heard broadcast items. On National Public Radio (January 12, 2005), a reporter opined thata government official announcing new dietary guidelines dietary guidelinesCardiology A series of dietary recommendations from the Nutrition Committee of the Am Heart Assn, that promote cardiovascular health. See Caloric restriction, food pyramid, French paradox. "sometimessounded like an avuncular a��vun��cu��lar?adj.1. Of or having to do with an uncle.2. Regarded as characteristic of an uncle, especially in benevolence or tolerance. uncle." On WNYC, our local NPR NPRIn currencies, this is the abbreviation for the Nepal Rupee.Notes:The currency market, also known as the Foreign Exchange market, is the largest financial market in the world, with a daily average volume of over US $1 trillion. affiliate(February 16, 2005), a matchmaker Matchmaker - A language for specifying and automating the generation of multi-lingual interprocess communication interfaces. MIG is an implementation of a subset of Matchmaker. being interviewed proclaimed, "Itgoes without saying that my success rate speaks for itself." And onTV's Fox News (February 10, 2004), an anchorman announced,"We'll be talking to one of the producers of Law and Order S.U. V.--excuse me, S. V. U." Now for some choice specimens from the print media, quoted as theyappeared, along with suitably snarky snark��y?adj. snark��i��er, snark��i��est SlangIrritable or short-tempered; irascible.[From dialectal snark, to nag, from snark, snork, to snore, snort ripostes. The Wall Street Journal, April 21, 2004: Jewelers across the country say mounting prices are forcing them toraise the price of platinum wedding bands by 20% to 50% from a year ago.A plain woman's band can now cost anywhere from $300 to $800.... For an attractive woman, prices are slightly higher. The New York Times, December 13, 2004 (Monday): Artwork in an exhibition that drew thousands to the Chelsea Marketfor its opening last week was abruptly taken down over the weekend....The offices of Around the Clock Management were closed over the weekendand there was no response yesterday to repeated messages to a marketrepresentative. As soon as we reopen, we'll change the company name. The New York Times, Op-Ed, December 27, 2003: Killer whales, with their awesome size and eagerness to turn atrick for a few pounds of herring, can be moneymakers for aquariums. Please pay the madam in advance and take an extra-large condom. The Financial Times, December 24, 2002: The Danish government yesterday launched legal proceedings againstthe European Commission in an attempt to reverse a decision givingGreece the sole right to market cheese under the feta fet��a?n.A white semisoft cheese usually made of goat's or ewe's milk and often preserved in brine.[Modern Greek (turi) pheta, (cheese) slice, from Italian fetta, slice brand.... Onlycheese produced in certain areas of Greece may bear the feta name. Too late. It's a feta compli. The New York Times, Sunday Styles, August 29, 2004: But four years ago he began casually exploring the club scene andtried crystal meth.... "I never did it for days and days at a time,just for a couple of days every two or three weeks." When you're high, these fine distinctions are a lot clearer. New York magazine, article on public school reform, October 6,2003: "Teaching out of the Basil Reader," she says, "isone of the most boring things you can do." Not if it's a cooking class. The New York Times, Letter to the Editor, May 26, 2004: As a former patron of the New York Philharmonic The New York Philharmonic is the oldest active symphony orchestra in the United States, organized during 1842. Based in New York City, the Philharmonic performs most of its concerts at Avery Fisher Hall and has long been considered one of the best orchestras in the world. , I would urge thoseredesigning Avery Fisher Hall Avery Fisher Hall, located in New York City, is a part of the Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts complex. It is the home of the New York Philharmonic Orchestra. The hall contains 2,738 seats. ... to change a feature of its currentdesign that I find more annoying than the acoustics: the placement ofits seats along the side tiers at right angles so as to form a right angle or right angles, as when one line crosses another perpendicularly.See also: Right to the stage. One musteither stare across the hall at the audience on the other side or twistuncomfortably to see the orchestra. Perhaps, with both ears facingforward, the sound would improve as well. Wait another few million years. Human Events, a national conservative weekly, Letter to the Editor,March 8, 2004: With so much of our Judo-Christian values under attack by liberalactivist judges ... passionate people of faith are needed. Does Bruce Lee qualify? The Wall Street Journal, front-page article, June 4, 2004: After a fierce lobbying effort, Chicago's Win. Wrigley Jr. Co.began selling Orbit in Singapore on May 20, 12 years after this famouslyfastidious fas��tid��i��ousadj.1. Possessing or displaying careful, meticulous attention to detail.2. Difficult to please; exacting.3. Having complex nutritional requirements. Used of microorganisms. nation of four million outlawed the sale of gum.... (It wasnever illegal to bring come into the country for personal use.) Whew whew?interj.Used to express strong emotion, such as relief or amazement.whewinterjan exclamation of relief, surprise, disbelief, or weariness ! DON HAUPTMAN New York, New York donhauptman@nyc.rr.com